The first rule in learning the Art of ADD is very simple, yet incredibly hard at the same time. The first rule requires a paradigm shift, accepting what is, in order to allow what’s possible.
Rule number one
Accept that you suck. Accept that no matter how hard you try, you will never be as good as you could be.
Harsh words maybe, but true nonetheless. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. In fact, you are so not alone that the whole world is in your sucky boat with you. No one will ever be as good as they could be. You could always be better. Apart from Jesus Christ and few sacred others, perfection is a commodity that won’t be accumulated by anyone in this lifetime.
So accept that you suck because we all do. Then get over it and move on.
Rule number two
Realize you can suck less, or be better than what you are now. How can you be a better version, or even the best possible version of yourself in this lifetime? Here’s where rule number two and one collide. You won’t, or can’t, be better than what you are right now until you accept the fact that you have ADD and that you may never be that ideal person you imagine in your head.
That person you imagine in your head doesn’t exist.
In accepting ADD, I don’t mean just accepting you have the diagnosis that goes by those call letters, or that you admit it to other people or even shout it to the world. It is more important for you to accept what having ADD means in your world. You aren’t built like other people. Your brain operates in an entirely different fashion, and you need to learn everything you can about yourself so that you can live life the way you were meant to live it.
What I really mean is, that instead of fighting ADD, you lean into it.
When someone accosts you by the arm and tries to hold you back, simply pulling your arm away will only work if your upper body is much stronger than their grip. But if you lean in, ever so slightly, you can get a better stance and leverage your stronger muscles and agility against the hold to set yourself free. If your brain wiring is holding you back, it’s possible that you might free yourself of your challenges using brute force and sheer might, but my guess is that the “try harder” model hasn’t worked so far.
Acceptance means you let ADD be there, knowing that ultimately, it’s not going to go away. Take a deep breath, let a sigh out, and say “you are welcome here” to your ADD. Then, start looking for ways you and ADD can live together ”happily ever after”. Okay, back to reality: nobody lives happy ever after, but we can certainly live “happier ever after” if we let ourselves be just who we are.
Don’t you think?