Life is hard. The ADD life is harder than many for one reason: We are playing with the right equipment, but in the wrong game.
It’s like someone gave us a pair of soccer cleats and said:
“Now go out there and put the puck in the net”.
It’s understandable that we cry out and demand “Give me some skates!” But nobody listens. Our cries fall on air-horn-deafened ears. After a while, some of us change our tune. We abandon the hockey rink, decide that if life won’t give us skates, we’ll find a soccer pitch and learn a new game.
But not all of us find a soccer pitch or figure out how to play the beautiful game. That’s when we really suffer. They say that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. But if you don’t have access to water or sugar, you’re hooped. The adage is intendedly positive and helpful, but it does suggest that there’s something wrong with sucking plain lemons. If you can’t make lemonade, then I guess you’re screwed?
Today’s post is the third in the series of life transformation, from ADHD to Zen. If you want, go ahead and check out the first and second post. Today we are talking about sucking lemons and living fully.
“… We don’t need to fight against the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We have a certain degree of faith that no matter where we find ourselves that’s where we really need to be. In fact, no matter how much trouble we may have seeing it, the place where we are could be said to be exactly where we most want to be. This is hard to accept. But when you accept it, your situation improves dramatically. That doesn’t mean we should be complacent and accept a bad situation without trying to improve it. In fact it’s one of our duties to improve whatever situation we find ourselves in. To do this effectively, though, first we have to understand that we ourselves are not something apart from our circumstances.” Brad Warner, Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped In Chocolate
When you’re playing hockey in a pair of cleats, you’re you. When you’re playing hockey in a pair of skates, you’re you. What’s changed? Only your equipment and perhaps your game, but you’re still you.
I happen to think there is nothing wrong with playing hockey in a pair of soccer boots if that’s all you’ve got. You may be slower, you may slip and fall more. You may, in fact, look absolutely ridiculous. What’s wrong with that? Does that make your journey any less worthwhile? What if you set a record as the first professional to ever play hockey in something other than skates? What if you invented a new game? What if you did nothing but just played your game, with the equipment you had and appreciated the fact that amongst it all, you are still you and nothing changes that?
Just like Brad, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to better your situation. But I am saying that living life fully means also embracing the negative aspects of it.
When we look at our challenges as something we have to master or have dominion over, we see them as our adversaries. We decide that something else is better than what we have. When we do this, we miss what is inherently worthwhile in the path we have been given. We miss our lives. We miss ourselves.
Go ahead – change your game. Change your equipment. Change how you play. But you won’t do any of those things by lamenting and judging that what you have and what you are isn’t good enough, as it is. When you accept the importance of who, what and where you are in this moment in time, you make room for your path to evolve and give yourself the leverage you need to change the situation.
Skates, cleats and lemons will all fade away at some point. And what will be left? You. If you start remembering that – life will get better no matter what changes (or doesn’t).
Let me know what you think.
And have an awesome day.